Open Question: abusive and controlling ex-please read?

[feedcrawler]

i was with my ex for 5 months. first two months he was lovely and sweet and kind hearted. the rest just turnt bitter. he grew nasty and horrible to me. he didn't trust me. i have a messy past of webcam, pictures and stuff like that. i tried to lie to him but i admitted it all afterwards.. i lied to him sometimes just to stop an argument, i always tried to hide it from him. he would bring it up every day knowing how bad and disgusting i felt for it. he made me feel so worthless. i feel worthless now. so worthless i self harm.. :/ i only started self harming since i met him. he made me delete my twitter, facebook and made me stop talking to my friends. made me show him my phonebook on my phone, delete numbers. made me delete 'sexual songs' on youtube and off of my phone.he made me send him videos for him to trust me. threatened me that he'd kill my gay friend. because i text him once saying about how me and my gay friend were having a joke and a laugh. he brings up my past and says it is worse than actually having sex with someone, considering im a virgin..i dont know how he worked that one out. made me stop wearing make up. i feel so awful im crying as i type this haha. he is so secretive yet i have to tell him everything...he spends all of his time on his bloody xbox, he got talking to a girl on there about a year ago and they started seeing eachother. he messaged her today.. my ex has a foot fetish and he said to me, shall i tell her i like feet and see what she says. i freaked out now and he's saying how much he loves me...i just can't do this anymore. i try so hard for him all the time. he hides stuff from me i know he does. but i continue to go back to him..he makes me seem like such a bad person, deep down i know i probably am now i am so insecure in myself.. i had no confidence before that..he built it up and just dragged me all the way back down, but even worse. he calls me a slut and stuff like that..when i ignore him he'll text me saying he loves me and how sorry he is. then when i message him back he is nasty straight away. i try and make it work and i hope he will appreciate me but he never does.. i love this boy but he just doesn't make it easy for me. don't know what to do help me.

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