I was eating at a local Applebee's when I happened to see Danica Patrick at the next table. I went over to ask her for an autograph. She said she would only do it if I smelled and licked her high heels and feet. So, I kneeled under the table and smelled them. I have a foot fetish so this wasn't bad at all. I expected my autograph after that, but she just laughed and got security her bodyguard to throw me out. Help?

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